Your Jokes
Woman Truck Driver
A man was driving his truck along the highway, and saw a
rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to
avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in
front of his truck and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive
man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the
road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to
his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he
began to cry. He didn't even want to take the photos and
complete the post-accident kit documents as he was supposed to,
according to his Safety Director, because he felt so awful, so
he just sat there and cried.
A woman driving her big truck down the highway saw the fellow
truck driver crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She
stepped out of her truck and asked the man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit
and killed it."
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She
went to her truck cab and pulled out a spray can. She walked
over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the
can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life,
jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the
road. 50 feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at
the two again, hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned,
waved, and hopped another 50 feet. The man was astonished. He
couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray
can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, “What was in your
spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?" The woman
turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It
said:
"'Hare Spray' Restores Life to Dead Hare. Adds Permanent Wave."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto:
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert,
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound
asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and Says, "Kemo
Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?
"The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars.
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are Millions of
galaxies and potentially billions of Planets Astrologically,
it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a Quarter past
three in the morning Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful
and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful Day
tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo shit. It means someone stole the
tent."
THE UGLY FROG
An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a
pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went.
She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch
her interest, except this ugly frog As she walked by the jar
he was in, she looked and he winked at her.
He whispered, "I'M SO LONELY, TOO. BUY ME AND TAKE ME HOME.
YOU WON'T EVER BE SORRY." !
The old lady figured, what the heck! She hadn't found anything else. So, she bought the frog. She placed him in the car, on the front seat beside her.
As she was slowly driving down the road, the frog whispered to her "KISS ME AND YOU WON'T BE SORRY."
So! The old lady figured, WHAT THE HECK, and kissed the frog.
IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, young, handsome prince.
The Prince then returned the old lady's kiss.
Suddenly the old lady felt herself transforming from his kiss.
Now , an you guess what the old lady turned into?
COME ON GUESS!
OOOOOOOHHHHHHH COME ON -- DONT BE A POOP!
SHE TURNED INTO THE FIRST HOLIDAY INN SHE COULD FIND!!!
She's old....... NOT DEAD